This week has been one of those weeks where all my talk must be followed by action. Each day I struggled to believe things that I frequently give lip service to.
These weeks happen to me all of the time. It’s easy to say you believe something; it is another thing to joyfully and intentionally live a life impacted by that belief. Likewise, it’s easy to say that you plan to do something, but it is harder to actually do the things that you say you want to. That’s because discipline isn’t fun.
Doug and I started the “S” diet a few weeks ago.
- No snacks
- No seconds
- No sweets
**Except on Saturday and Sundays.
It wasn’t too hard the first few weeks, but this week was horrible. I craved sugar all week, but we stayed strong…for the most part, until they had Blue Bell ice cream at our friends’ rehearsal dinner on Friday (we started our Saturday a few hours early).
Other than the diet, I’ve just had to fight discontentment. I want to live like I believe that Jesus is my greatest treasure. I want to believe that the truth is true whether or not other people agree or like me because of it. I want to live like I believe that my worth isn’t defined by what I do. I want to live like God’s opinion is more important that others’ opinions. I want to live like I believe that I’m what’s wrong with the world, not just everyone else.
I’m tired. It’s been a hard week. I’m thankful for an extra measure of grace. Mostly I’m glad that Jesus had to “prove it,” because I couldn’t. I’m glad that when God says, so prove that you love me, I can point to Jesus. I can’t live like that, but I’m thankful that the Holy Spirit fights the fight, and for the grace offered when I’m disobedient, and for the God-given courage to believe life-giving truth and the strength to live like I believe it.